The day

... I can look in the mirror and actually see something of myself. I hope it comes soon.

I'm still in the process of looking for an internship. Have an interview next week sometime, and hopefully it will be smooth sailing from there. I hate how every time I see myself, I see a scared little girl who's barely out of high school, let alone out of college. I miss the days of saturday morning cartoons, of waking up late, of reading comics and manga, of being able to wear anything I want without being judged (when I can wear tshirts and baggy hoodies and people won't question my fashion sense).

I miss being me. It's not that I want to stay a kid forever though. I love the academics/learning/intellectual side of being an adult, but I hate everything else that comes with it. Politics, science, psychology, business and finance all fascinate me. Relationships (for the love of God, this is just scary), networking (...even scarier), fancy parties (what if I say something stupid!), and all of that stuff make me want to run the other way. I would love to be able to hold a job that lets me do all that nerdy finance/econ stuff but without all the repercussions associated with a career in business. /sigh